[Note: I'm working hard to produce both audio and video versions of the Creative Concepts podcast. Usually this means I'll record a video at one time and then do an audio version at another time. This particular installment was an experiment to see how I might combine the two. Clearly the video quality isn't that great, but I hope you'll find the subject matter compelling...]

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I have had such an epiphany of late. A lot of little things came together to change so many things. One of those was watching a documentary about photography. And the thing that really impressed me was the variety of approaches to photography within this particular documentary. There were photographers with these elaborate large format cameras and another with a studio lighting setup… but there also photographers with these little dingy little digital cameras. And one woman was talking about how she thought every good photograph had ghosts in it. This totally blew my mind because in my world, in my head, there’s a whole list of criteria that have to be met before I can take photographs. You know, the lighting has to be good, and the weather has to be good and I have to make sure the memory card has plenty of room on it and the camera battery is charged… and, perhaps most problematic of the lot, I have to be IN THE MOOD (whatever that means!).

And there is also this fear I have about not being taken seriously… You know to be a ‘real photographer’ in my own mind – and I imagine in the minds of others – I have to meet those criteria. I have to use the really expensive camera and I have to guard my photographs closely and not let anyone see anything I haven’t decided is ‘perfect.’ Because, truthfully, there’s a still a part of me that is so eager to please people and wants to be celebrated. And I think to myself sometimes “If only I make the most clever, most profound, most serious, most whatever thing…” it will all come together for me. And frankly I’m not sure I yield that kind of power over anyone, whether the work is good or bad. And wouldn’t it be better if I liked the work, if I liked the process of creating the work?

Then I had to realise that there had been times when I actually had liked the work. Infact I wrote this song “Born To Lose You” that I was so incredibly proud of. I liked it in it’s musical form and the lyrics really articulated something I needed to articulate. But then I shared it with some people and they didn’t understand it and I decided sort of after the fact that it must really be quite awful… and that is just a horrible place to be as an artist, to be sitting in the back rows looking at how people react to you and second guessing every creative decision you’ve made.

So you know when people say – hell, when I say – just get started it means JUST GET STARTED. And I know you’re all sitting there yelling and throwing things at the screen because I’m like that clueless person in the slasher film who is standing right in front of the killer because like DUH! Who knew this was one of those pieces of instruction you could take literally?! And in my defense all I can really say is that you don’t know what baggage you take with you until you’ve had a chance to unpack it. And you never know when the penny is going to drop, when you’re going to see something that completely changes the way you think, the way you relate to things. And that is another function if you like of Julia Cameron’s ‘filling the well’ activity. Because you’re not just creating work, you’re creating yourself – as an artist and as a human being. You are a work in progress and your life is a work in progress… and hopefully your artistic endeavours reflect that too.

Sometimes I take inspiration from nature.
I wonder what nature takes inspiration from…?

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I was having one of those days when everything that could go wrong did. Even attempting to write about my woes in blogform didn’t seem to help. Eventually I decided I was going crazy and needed to get out of the house. So I did. There’s an area of bushland near my house and I like to walk around there sometimes. There are steps heading down the cliff fashioned out of sandstone. I made my way down one of these sets of stairs. I suddenly realised I wasn’t alone, I could hear something – but what?

There in front of me were not one but two Lyrebirds. Majestic brownly coloured birds renowned for their ability to mimick sounds. Clearly these birds took inspiration from everything – from machinery, from other birds, whatever they could hear was fair game!

We all seek originality, we all want a voice and an expression that is somehow uniquely ours. But we have to appreciate that we are in some ways small continuances in much larger artistic traditions and within humanity itself. And it’s not like fellow travelers were staring and pointing and shouting, “What derivative nonsense!” The performance was astounding, the tribute compelling, the technique hard to imagine… and what other animal would’ve had the creativity to showcase and juxtapose such a collection of sounds?!

What do you take inspiration from?

“Just get started!” It’s an instruction often heard during Tim Pychyl’s iProcrastinate podcast. And frankly it is good advice… When I admitted to wanting to paint some years ago I went as far as buying art supplies but no further. I couldn’t bring myself to start – and, perhaps most annoyingly, I didn’t understand why.

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So, yes, there is power in starting… The one thought I’d leave you with is that every day, every page, every paragraph, every sentence, every word, every line, every brushstroke, every (whatever) is a kind of new beginning. Just get started, and then do it again.

Checking In… I’ve decided to start talking about my writing and creative progress in a podcast. I’d love your feedback. Please leave comments if you are so inclined.

My Relationship with The Artist’s Way
I talk about my changing relationship with Julia Cameron’s creative recovery program.

Your Way’s Not My Way (And That’s Okay!)
I talk about the ‘mule’ writing method approach.
Mur Lafferty’s comments on being a ‘roach’

I Blog Just To Know That I’m Alive
I need to blog. I am a blogger. (Admitting you have a problem is the first step, I suppose.) Bloggers Anonymous anyone?

Track 1 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

One Two Many (The Trendy Complex)
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

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This relates to high school cliques in much the same way The Drama Queens (And Struggling Artist) does. I love the combination of the harpsichord, clavichord and piano. And of course the way the organ comes from nowhere for the bridge section.

Track 2 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Artico
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 3 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

I Know (Repetition For Emphasis)
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Be grateful this is an instrumental. These are the actual genuine lyrics I intended to use:

I know you know, I know you know
Now everyone knows…

Track 4 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

The Drama Queens (And Struggling Artist)
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

In the last few years of high school the cliques were more pronounced perhaps than they had ever been before. Areas of the playground were designated for particular groups and they all had their own names. The Drama Queens were as you might imagine a group mostly female and most interested in theatre. The thing I came to realise was that I didn’t really fit into any one of these groups. Indeed I hovered between them. And even though several different cliques were quite accommodating of me I never really felt like I fit in anywhere in particular.

Track 5 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Look Out
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 6 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Said And Done
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 7 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Honky Tonk (The Delicate Mix)
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

This is an alternatively voice version of Honky Tonk that appears on track 26.

Track 8 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Kick It
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 9 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Masterpiece
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

The thing about composing music first and then assigning a title as an after thought is that the titles can be completely arbitrary. I doubt even at the time I really considered this a ‘Masterpiece’ in any true sense of the word, though I do like the frenetic energy of it.

Track 10 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

(Please Don’t) Tinker With My Heart
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 11 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Winter
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

This is a very simple repetitive piece and actually this wasn’t how it was supposed to appear on the album. I had lined up a drummer and a bass player, with whom I intended to play this live on keyboards and improvise over the top of it. But that never actually came to be.

Track 12 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Patrio
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 13 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Latest Flame
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

Track 14 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

The Blonde That Walks
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

This is a bit of a high school in-joke. The Blonde That Walks was based, in part, on a girl I went to school with. This is actually the only track on the album that was recorded on a MIDI keyboard, all the rest were notated with the help of software. This one I played.

Track 15 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Tappin’
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

I thought of this as incredibly distracting ‘thinking music’ perhaps for use on a television game.

Track 16 on Metallic Scream (the multimedia CD-ROM project I created in high school back in 1999).

Variations On The 12-Bar Blues
Written by John Lacey.
Copyright © 1999 John Lacey. All Rights Reserved.

This is the biggest cliche on the whole album. I’m a little sheepish about including it online but in the interest of staying true to the original project here it is nonetheless…