Connect, Create, Collaborate

It’s 10:44pm Monday night as I type. I’ve been in a weird mood all night. I watched a documentary on sensory deprivation which both fascinated and horrified me. I listened to a podcast (a sermon really) titled “Contemplation and Action.” I sat here playing refrains from songs I had written.

The documentary sort of took Julia Cameron’s idea of the empty well and took it to it’s most disturbing extreme. The podcast made me realise the folly of seeking perfection – spiritual, artistic, personal, otherwise. And the music made me realise I was still sad, still nursing old wounds. And then it all starts feeding back into each of these things. I realise I was reluctant to be sad because I didn’t want to be affected, I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to be untouchable. I wanted to be completely impervious to the criticism and rejection of others. But I’m not. Infact I suspect I might be more sensitive to its effects than most. I feel bad about this and beat myself up even more.

Then I check my email. [click to continue…]

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